Has left me.
Maybe it'll come back next weekend. The last few weeks I have not felt like going out or even socializing much.
Usually caught in a day dream or planning out all the ways in which to transform MoneyHouse into a cozy winter escape.
I guilt myself a bit, too. The rational part of my brain doesn't want me to have too much fun 😅 it just wants me to spend all my free time learning and improving myself or cleaning and organizing 🤣 what a damn doozy of a subconscious I have.
But I listen closely when my body urges me to stay home. Everything is an energy exchange and some things cause you to expend more than you receive and that's all fine and to be expected but to be avoided if your personal bank of energy is running low.
So I've been staying home. I've been cleaning, clearing, and creating. I've spent at least a day’s time on creative projects this week. When it hits, it really hits and I must run with it.
I am still reading the personal MBA and it's my priority to finish it by the end of the year. Last time I spent time outlining my goals till the end of the year, next year goals, and 2023-2025 goals. These are always open to change and anything could happen but it feels great to write them down. Then I made a to-do list for today and as I was writing it I was thinking of how what I do today can help me stay on track for my year end goals.
Last week I started weight lifting with a trainer. This satisfies my workout 2-3 times a week goal(this is what future me does, I said), I'm training 3x a week and so far loving it so much. I've been thinking about weight lifting for about six months or so just marinating on the idea.
That's what I do, I marinate. Sometimes for six months but when I do decide to cook whatever I'm marinating it's usually with great results. I don't have regrets that I should've started sooner because I'm realizing that everything happens in the time and space that it should. I'm more comfortable with the process than I ever have been.
I'm not here to push anything in any direction and really being honest with myself about what's for and not for me.
I did go out for a bit on Friday and had a real time with Lydia down at Boston and title.
When I got home I was in a slight stupor and drunkenly scribbled, “I go about my day thinking that no man will understand me but then I think, they would be extremely lucky to”.
🤣😅🥲
I spent a lot of the weekend listening to Feist, wishing to be in love while knowing that I am not now and that's ok. The next few months will be very interesting and I am better off without the distraction for now.
Last night on a walk I smelled new and exciting memories based in other locations coming to me, it's a hard feeling to describe but when it happens it fills my heart.