Indeed I have. Highs and lows, a sine wave, the shape of life.
The ups and downs of life are always present. Some time periods seem spicier than others. This year was action packed, and it's not over yet. (Also time is irrelevant but I won't go into that)
This year seemed a little different, a little better, even though many lows were experienced I have managed better than ever at keeping my own sense of baseline through it all. I am proud of myself and it's ok to admit that. I am seeing the fruits of my own mental labor, and it's refreshing.
I can only compare myself to who I've been before. It feels fantastic to recognize your own growth, even if you know…the work is never over.
You're never quite as enlightened as you think or imagine yourself to be. I mean if I had perfected myself already I think life would get kind of boring 😅🥲.
I could list out the experiences that made this year seem wild but the truth is, they don't matter. They will continue to change in face until I die. This is how life is and keeping them at an arms length between my inner peace is the only way to continually blast by them.
Meditation has taught me that. There is really nothing that can take away the inner peace that you can give yourself.
I'm laying in bed drinking my coffee, reflecting. This is luxury to me.
A concept that I've come across and something that I've been doing for awhile is the practice of meditating on mortality. Some people might see this as being morbid but to me it seems much more messed up to continue to live your life everyday as if you have any day that is guaranteed.
I'll do this in strange ways. For example: yesterday I was driving by the Holly refinery and was thinking what would happen if one of these tanks just exploded. There was a guy riding his bike by it as well, we would definitely both be done for. The thing is when most people die, they don't expect it. They weren't planning on it, they left the house thinking it was a regular day and then bam.
And their relatives and loved ones didn't expect it either. You don't usually have the thought, what if this is the last time that I'm going to see/hug/kiss this person? Life just happens and it's faster than anyone thinks.
Thinking about death is actually very life-giving. We get to imagine what if it was our last day/hour/drive, what are the thoughts and actions we want to be doing if so?
The assumption that you have any more time than the present moment is actually quite delusional. Free yourself from this delusion and wrap yourself up in the only moment you have, the now.
I'll leave you with some lyrics from one of my favorite songs.
Have a great day 🌞.